The Midnight News
Why do all male wrestlers have that creepy thong tan line? I men, I know that wrestlers are a different breed than the rest of us, but do they really believe that having a sweet thong tan line is the right thing to do? It reminds me of that picture of the Hulkster in his little speedo next to his boat. It disturbs me.
Jake
Because they tan... and because keeping a tan thong line is a funny visual when the opportunity for a good mooning arrives. It's like getting a deep sunburn before going into a Strap match... it hurts like hell, but god DAMN does it make for a great visual. Wrestling is 100% visual... entertainment... make them laugh.
Plus... well, bodybuilders with huge packages like to make sure the girls (or guys) at the gyms/tanning salons KNOW that they have the junk and the junk is MIGHTY
Hello Cyberstalkers, I'm Chris and this is the Midnight News. Did you all have a nice holiday? I know I didn't... very moody and sad... but mixed in with general good spirits... I'm not bi-polar, just moody.
This week, I don't have much in terms of WRESTLING news... but I DO have a yarn to spin... a tale to tell... all at the bottom... not sure how anyone here will take it... so just read the usual column crap first THEN check it out... it's like desert.
Anyways... let's get to it...
THEY CALL IT MARIJUANA AND BEFORE THIS SONG IS DONE, WE'LL EXPLAIN TO ALL YOU PEOPLE WHY THIS OUTLAW CAUSES FUN, SEE POT DON'T MAKE YOU OLDER AND POT DON'T MAKE YOU FAT. IT JUST MAKES YOU FEEL REAL FRIENDS AND YOU KNOW THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT...
I still miss the Jokeman...
This Rob Van Dam... I don't get it. I don't get this pot culture...
I mean... RVD obviously uses pot as a way of life... like eating and breathing, it's now just a natural function for him.
I've seen guys like this... see them all the time... they're assholes.
Why can't he just drink booze like a normal fucking human? Good fucking Lord.
As for Sabu... if he's going to travel with a corncob pipe, why not carry some pipe tobacco with him so it won't look so suspicious?
I wonder if, when the cop pulled them over, I wonder if Sabu stepped out of the car, pointed to the sky, then ran away when the cops looked up... of course, his body was so broken down that he can't run very fast... but that would've been funny anyway...
And Wade Keller... you know, when the WWE first brought out the terms of the Wellness Policy, Keller did an audio Torch talk and spent the FIRST 20 MINUTES going on and on and on about how the wrestlers should smoke up the pot!! "It mellows you out and kills the pain!!" said Wade... he even pointed out how the Wellness program only TOUCHED upon pot as one of the outlawed substances! Oh, Wade came THIS CLOSE to suggesting that the wrestlers should start wearing hemp tights in the ring! It was a hilarious diatribe! Wade found a passion of his and was able to apply it to wrestling for the first time! One would swear he had a hard-on while going on...
Anyway... when RVD and Sabu were nailed... Keller did a HUGE ABOUT FACE and LECTURED RVD and Sabu about how the DISGRACED THE LOCKER ROOM WITH THEIR... THEIR... THEIR ANTICS!!!! What a hypocrite.
Plus, Keller threw me out of his Message board this week, he threw Mark Madden out too... but I'll get to that story some other time.
Anyway... potheads are morons... NO ONE should smoke pot every day and only a DINK would be so proud of it that he encorporates it into his character..
Oh, and Sabu, only getting fined a grand... is one lucky sumbitch...
At least the Wellness Program FINALLY got Kurt Angle to sit at home for a while and goddam try to heal up... maybe hold his kid a little? Wouldn't that be nice?
That's my top story and, alas... that's all I got.
WILL SOMEONE IN THIS FUCKING BUSINESS PLEASE BECOME ADDICTED TO CHEESEBURGERS OR SOMETHING??? WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE ABOUT SOMA AND COCAINE AND POT AND PAINKILLERS??? EAT A GOD DAMN BIC MAC AND GET HIGH ON JUICY, SALTY, HEAVEN!!!
FATNECK: KING OF THE JEWS
How can fat neck call someone out for anti-semitism when he's anti-everything else? A blantant retarded racist bitching over racism, fuck that guy. I would call for a boycott of his shitty indy but only a dozen or so people care. The Jersey Indy scene is chock full of bullshit.
Mike
So... let's see if I have this straight...
There's a guy who tried his hand at running wrestling shows in the NY area and who works at a pet shop and went off on Frank Goodman with some vicious "anti-semetic" comments in an e-mail. Goodman didn't like it and... I guess he verbally ripped the guy a new a-hole on his "hotline"
Sean... Sean the MiC... who runs this site, has covered this story quite thoroughly, maintaining NO sense of journalistic integrity and CLEARLY siding with Goodman and openly calls for this pet store guy... Ken Pulvidente, to just wither up and DIE... how DARE he rips on the Jews!
I smell a rat.
Goodman runs UXW... well, he tries to when he can get his wifey to cough up the money to pay-off the right people in order to run these shows... UXW tries very hard to be the one and only Indy fed out of New York. YEARS AGO at another site I wrote about how Fatfuck muscled other promoters out of running area shows by throwing a ton of his wife's money at the high-end Indy workers to work for him and him alone... so Goodman is no stranger to bully tactics in order to make HIS shows the ONLY shows available in the Tri-State area.
Sean the MiC, owner/operator of this very site, is an employed booker for Goodman's UXW... thus it's in his best interest to support Goodman's "my show only" policy...
Maybe I'm just talking out of my ass, but I DO smell a bit of a rat here. Of course, this being me and I'm terribly lazy and apathetic about all this... so I didn't do an ounce of research here... didn't ask anyone a single question. I'm SURE there is more to this than meets the eye.
But I think Frank Goodman is a worm. A sleaze bag who has no problems undermining people in order to get what he wants, through any means necessary.
I still think he is the living, breathing, walking, talking EMBODIMENT of the worst aspects of professional wrestling.
From my point of view... this Ken Pulvidente wasn't doing anything but running wrestling shows... okay, he was running them badly, but he came too close to Goodman's Fiefdom and Goodman channeled a bit of his obnoxious business practices at the guy... to run him out of NYC.
I mean... to call the guy out for being an Anti-Semite... Fuuuuck you... HITLER was an Anti-Semite! Cohn was an Anti-Semite! Meltzer is and Anti-Semite! A guy who makes a few remarks in an e-mail directed at the most boorish, addle-brained, simple-minded douchebag in the Indys isn't being an Anti-Semite... HE'S JUST SPEAKING IN A LANGUAGE FATNECK CAN UNDERSTAND!!
But I went ahead and asked Goodman to comment on this... in an MIDNIGHT NEWS EXCLUSIVE... here's what he had to say...
HIDEY HO, BUTT FUCKERS!! THIS IS THE MASKED TOUGHGUY COMMENTIN' DIRECTALLY FOR TRIBE-HATER HYATTE'S STOOPID COLOOM!! THIS INTERNET MARK WHO DON'T HAVE 19 HOUSES LIKE I DOES T'INKS HE CAN CUT PROMOS ON ME? THE MASTER? WHYS IF I SEE HIM ON DA STREET I'M GONNA STICK MY COCK UP HIS BROWNIE LITTLE STARFISH AND PUMP ENOUGH HEBSPEW INTA HIM UNTIL HE REPOPULATES THE 6 MILLION WE LOST TO GUYS LIKE HITLER AND THE PET SHOP GUY!! I'M JUST GONNA HAVE ANAL SEX WIDDIS ASSY OOOSY UNTIL HE STARTS TA' BLEED RACIAL BLOOD ALL OVER MY TEENY LITTLE FATCRANK... WHICH'LL LOOB IT UP MORE SO I CAN FUCK HIM FOR ANUDDER HOUR! YEEEAH!! HE'S A GAY ANTI-JEWPHOBE!! QUEERER DEN A $4 DOLLAR BILL!! I AM GETTING A BONER JUST T'INKIN ABOUT STICKING MY PEENY POONY INTA HIS COOKIE HOLE!!! I MAY SUCK HIM OFF A LITTLE TOO!! HE UNCIRCUMMMMSIZED? HE WILL BE HAR HAR HAR! I BET HE LIKES THE SHWARTAZ TOO!! I'LL BUTT BOOP HIM ALL DA WAY BACK TA AFRICA (WHERE I OWN 7 HOMES) TO LIVE BACK WITH HIS HEBE-HATING DARKIE FRIENDS!!
AND AS FER THE JEW HATING PET SHOP BOY WHO CLEANS UP SHIT-ZUE SHIT (HAHAHAHAH, I AM THE HOWARD STERN OF THE INDYS!!). ALLS I KIN SAY IZZAT HE BETTER STAY AWAYS FROM NEW YORK WRESTLING BECUZ THIS IS MY TRIBE, BITCH... AND WE DON'T TAKE KINDLY TO HATERS!! WHYS, I THINK OF GUYS LIKE YOU AND SCHINDLER AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD I HAVE TO GO TO DA' GYM AND BLAST MY PECS... OOO, LOOK AT THESE T'INGS... TIME OUT WHILE I RUB MY NIPPLES...
WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH DYKES? THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT A GOOD UNCUT WAD OF FATNECK COCK FEELS LIKE! I'D STRAIGHTEN DEM DUMB BROAD OUT FASTER DEN WITTENSTEIN SUCKS DOWN THE WEINERS!!
JOHNNY DEPP TAKES IT UP DA' ASS!! AND FOR THAT REASON WHEN I SEES HIM IN DA STREET I'M GONNA CUT OFF HIS NUTSY NOO NOOS AND FEED 'EM TO MY KIDS AS LITTLE TEENY MATZA BALLS!! HE AIN'T USIN' DEM CORRECTALLY... HE'S USIN' DEM ON OTHER GUYS!! THE HOMO!!
SO, IN CLOSING... JEW HATERS HAVE NO PLACE IN JEW... I MEAN NEW YORK!! KILL THE NEGROES AND HANG THE FAGS AND DEM SPICS CAN GO TOO... FEED THE CHRISTIANS TO THE RATS TOO!! DAT WASN'T CHRIST WE POSTED UP!! GET OVER IT, HOMOS!!
So yeah... Goodman can't stand anti-semites... or competition.
Dickwad.
CYBERLUV WIT' DA J-DOGG
Because there really isn't much to yammer on about this week... and most of my juice has been channeled into the last story here...
For years and years there's been someone posting hilarious cybersex transcripts from the mysterious "BloodNinja"... I've used his work before in the past.
Well, I found a few more, and at least I THINK it's the Blood Ninja... at least the credit is being given to him...
Here are two pretty funny cybersex moments... our hero is named "J-Dogg"...
OH JUST FRIGGIN' RELAX, YOU ASSHOLES... SO WHAT IF THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WRESTLING!! JESUS H!!
Jdogg: Hey
QT-Pie: Hey
Jdogg: whats goin on
QT-Pie: Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg: Jdogg . Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie: what does that mean?
Jdogg: what are you wearing?
QT-Pie: T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg: Garter belt?
QT-Pie: Ummm...no.
Jdogg: Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussy stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg: You leave everything to Jdogg.
Jdogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie: This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.
******
Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women...
J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipshit.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.
*****
"I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me"... BWAHAHAHAHAHAA.... so many things wrong with that.
Mindless stuff that I didn't even have to create... this is why I rule.
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO FLEA
Whenever we talk, I can always count on Flea to give his opinions on just about anything.
So, I decided to grab a pen and paper and start jotting down his thoughts. Everyone likes Flea.
The following is 100% true... more or less:
WHERE DOES FLEA STAND ON...
...Gasoline prices?
If it keeps the commoners off the road, more power to them. It’s vindication—VINDICATION—for making smokers leave the fucking restaurants and offices to smoke. Now it cost more for a couple of gallons than for a pack. Good. Fuck them assholes. All these people are pissed because they had to give up buying lottery tickets now. No one wins those things yet these assholes are crying the blues because their lotto money has to go into the gas tank. Simple minds. Fuck them. I never wanted an SUV—I like my Lincoln Town Car and I don’t pay attention to how much I’m paying to fill it up. I can afford it. Get off my cloud..
Flea: A man with a strange sense of priorities
A FUN FACT THAT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK SMARTER
*The most popular pizza topping in Japan is squid*
And just like that, you're smarter than you were three seconds ago
Hyatte LIVES to inform.
KEVIN NASH IS BETTER THAN YOU
Since day one, Kevin Nash has been shat on by Internet marks everywhere. Well.... enough is ENOUGH!
This isn't going to change a damn thing, but I'm doing it anyway. Someone has to point out the obvious, SOMEONE has to defend the big guy, SOMEONE has to show the WRESTLING WORLD that Kevin Nash... maybe the greediest, laziest, sneakiest wrestler who ever lived, deserves a HEARTY round of applause... not for thumbing his nose at those who actually WORKED in the ring, but for doing it and getting rich at the same time. He IS the American dream... all 7 feet of him.
But is he better than YOU, John Q. Workrate? Bet'cha ASS he is... Why?
Kevin Nash Is Better Than You Because...
If they hung together, he could turn CM Punk into an heroin addict within six months!
THIS HAS BEEN "KEVIN NASH IS BETTER THAN YOU" STARRING KEVIN NASH, WRITTEN, DIRECTED, AND PRODUCED BY CHRIS HYATTE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Straight Edge... HA! The only thing Nash likes to keep straight are his knees while he's wrestling.
THE IMPACT MOP-UP
Next week... SWEAR TO GOD!!
Okay... now it's time for one of the more honest things I've written in a long, long time...
THE STRATUSFESTO
Hmmm.... okay... umm... many of you won't care about this... but some of you know bits and pieces of this... there may be some people reading who had a good laugh at my expense once they heard the news... which is fine. And only a very few people know the full story...
This isn't really for anyone other than me and one other person... but you all are free to enjoy it and make your own conclusions
Okay... since I started this rinky dink net career years and years ago... I always prided myself on being honest and open and talking about shit that happens to me... I know, this should be about WRESTLING... but wrestling news can get boring sometimes... always the same stories, the same complaining... blah, blah, blah
So every so often I open up and speak on things that I want to talk about. Many, MANY times the shit I talk about makes me look like an ass... or a creep.... I don't care, it's raw and from the heart and I like showing a little ass sometimes... I like humiliating myself. Keeps me humble.
And believe me, what I am about to talk about will make me look like a MAJOR fucking creep...
Okay... so I guess you all heard that Trish Stratus is going to leave wrestling when her WWE contract runs out in August... and she's going to marry her long-time boyfriend in September... and chances are VERY good that she won't be back. Meltzer said it, Scherer said it, Keller said it....
I said it, several times over the past year too... I knew this was coming since last November.
How? Because she told me.
Got your attention now, don't I.
For years and years I've been making jokes about my association with a "Trish Imposter" online who brilliantly managed to fool HUNDREDS of people... well, the joke is it was never a Trish Imposter... it was the real girl. 100% Stratigias...
Proof? I have it. But I'm not going to defend this. You may buy into this or not. I know what the truth is, she knows the truth. More than just answering questions, real, concrete, proof... beyond web stuff. That's all I am going to say. After you read this, you can decide for yourself... I don't care if you do or do not believe me... Take my word or shrug it off... doesn't matter anymore.
Okay, so I've been talking to Trish online for about 5 years. And after the first two, she seemed to warm up to me and things got interesting. For whatever reason, maybe because we shared the same type of humor, she started talking to me like a friend more than just a fan, and she started opening up... not much, but dropping little notes and insights about her life that I don't think she would tell just anyone. Some really intense stuff, and other "anti-Trish" like stuff... personal stuff. I'm a good talker and a good listener. We hit it off and became friends. Probably because I never talked about having sex with her. I never told her how hot she was... I treated her like a regular person... which she was. We had some laughs, some warm moments, some serious moments, and it was all good. I never asked for tickets, or autographs for my friends kids, or money, or anything... well, I asked for her phone number more than a few times... but shit, I'm just a fucking human being.
And guess what, she's just a fucking human being too.
Funny thing about Trish is... she would tell me what was going to happen in terms of storylines and future plans in the WWE... and she NEVER got it right... oh sometimes she got it ALMOST right... right enough to seem SORT OF accurate, but never dead on right... it was enough to make me wonder if I'm being scammed... but again, I have enough proof to know the truth. It was and is her. Her misfires about what's going to happen is merely a case of what has been reported for years: that the WWE rarely sticks to its long-range plans... and they've been booking on the fly for years
Anyway, she's a strange girl, open yet closed. She'll tell me all sorts of stuff, but then I'll read an interview with her with some reporter or spot a magazine with her on it and learn something new. I found myself getting upset because I was arrogant enough to think I SHOULD HAVE been made aware of stuff... for no reason other than I seemed to have her confidence, her trust... and I had the impression that she kept her circle of trusted friends really tight. A private girl, Trish is.
But then again, she didn't tell me stuff because I never really asked her stuff. She and I bullshitted... just chilled and talked about whatever crossed our minds at the time... often times drunk. I never interviewed her... which is why she liked me, I think.
And I liked her because she was a down to earth girl who NEVER came off like a star... she wasn't humble... she knew she had a smoking body, but when we bullshitted, it was her sense of humor that got me. She always had a wisecrack ready... so did I... and her sense of humor is a lot more evil than you would think... anyone who reads me knows what sort of sense of humor I have... well, she shares the same kind. Often times we both typed the same wisecrack at the same time, then laughed over how we both though the same thing. As crazy at this sounds... I was more secure and relaxed with HER than I am with any other girl, EVER... I was at my best with her... and I have a feeling she was at her most relaxed, and at her best with me. I think we brought that out of each other, just through chilling and shooting the shit.
One thing I can personally attest to is her back... believe everything you read when she talks about how bad her back injury was... it's still in rough shape... and it never really stopped bothering her... it's why she confessed to me that she was retiring last November... hell, she was originally going to call it a career after this past Wrestlemania... but held on for a few more programs and a few more pay-offs. Then her shoulder seperated and she told me that was the final straw. So everything I'm reading is just her plans coming to fruition...
Except the marriage part...
We never talked about our relationships... I may have asked once or twice, but that was it. The girl is awfully busy and always maintained that she never had much free time... (not like I was asking for a date or anything, just coming up in general chit-chat she would mention how busy she always was.) Plus... well, I we had a relationship that was loose, casual, but flirty too... bringing up significant others would'a ruined it.
Hmm.... okay, before I continue, I should note a few things:
1) No matter how creepy this gets... please, ALL OF YOU, keep in mind that I am NOT a stalker... I will NOT be flying to Toronto anytime soon or in the future to hunt her down... I won't be harrassing her at signings or going to house shows in my area (Raw makes its annual summer trip to the Massachusettes Beaches in a couple of weeks and no, I will NOT be attending.) I AM speaking from my heart but I also have a brain... and a sense of decency... and COMMON SENSE... trust me, the girl is safe from me. She knows this. I just want you all to know this too.
2) I am not "in love" with Trish Stratus... but... umm... okay, let's go on.
So when I read that she was getting married in September... I honestly got mad... I think I started yelling at her... well, at my parrot, but he doesn't sell. If I had her phone number... I would'a left a string of messages... if I could text message her, I would've sent a stream of angry texts... I had her e-mail, of course, but she had long since deleted it... I'll get to why in a minute.
Why did I get mad? It's her fault really... sort of.
You see, this is the beauty of Trish Stratus... she is an easy girl to love, more than just because of her looks... she has a lot of inner light and this well-grounded personality. Even in a bad mood she makes you feel like she cares about you. If she likes you, then she'll go out of her way to make you feel special... she knows who she is, she knew who I am... and she never cared... it wasn't Trish I was talking to... it was a girl named Pat... and insanely hot girl named Pat, but still a regular girl from Canada all the same. Am I dumb enough to think I ever had a shot at her? Naaaah... but she made it tough for me NOT to... she is THAT nice... she liked me for me and I liked her for her...
And now this is where I get... creepy... I am writing this mostly for me, sort of a catharsis... it's my Id unleashed here... it's not what I REALLY think, it's what I WANT to think without the benefit of my rationality... it's deep and dark and stupid and I don't care because it's raw honesty... get ready...
In my heart of hearts, in the deepest part of my soul, I think she had to think long and hard about me... I think... I WANT to think... that she came THISCLOSE to choosing me... to coming down to the States and showing up on my door and saying, "Here I am, let's try this." I WANT TO THINK that she spent a LOT of time thinking about going for it with me... someone she never met... just throwing caution to the wind and just GOING for it... roll the dice, take a shot... it's why she never talked about her boyfriend and never asked me about my girlfriends over the last few years... why ruin the fantasy?
Being honest here... I think we had a connection that was so strong, a perfect synch-up of personality that was so fitting... that for a few moments, she considered me as someone to settle down with. I mean, how many times have YOU met someone who you had almost everything in common with? And wouldn't YOU pursue that?
So I got mad when I read she was getting married... angry... like an idiot... I felt betrayed.
But I can't blame her, when it's something like marriage... and a life decision... you tend to go the safe route... you go with the Devil you know... the sure bet.
Problem is... in my heart of hearts... I think I was the sure bet... and in the deepest, darkest, most hopeful part of my soul, I think she agrees.
But she went with the reliable choice, and who can blame her. Sucks for ME... but oh well.
I think she thought about it very carefully tho'... long and hard... I think I was a big time consideration for her. And I think I'll never know how close I came to being Mr Trish Stratus. So close that she deleted her e-mail account... so close that she hasn't been online in weeks now. I WANT to think I meant something to her... enough so that she felt a clean break was the best break. Not JUST for MY feelings either...
.... and I think... I WANT TO THINK... that she's catching herself thinking of me a lot... and if I see her online, she's just logging on to see if I'm around...
ANYWAY... that's all Id.... my intelligence will never let it go beyond a few daydreams and wistful musings during long car rides. She's safe. Just a nice girl who gave ol' Hy-Rate a few moments of "what if"... I'm sure I'm not the only person whom she touched like this... but I DO think I'm one of the few who touched her.
Was she a perfect girl? Naaah... being her body is her prime source of her career, she was naturally self-centered... and could be quite rude and inconsiderate at times, but not a lot... 95% of the time she was an absolute sweetheart. She worked her ass off for the longest time and deserves pure and total happiness... she's also extremely quick on her (mental) feet and a smart gal... she knows what's she's doing... maybe the most independent thinking girl I've ever known, and honestly someone who is almost 100% self-reliant... she don't need ANYONE, kids... so whatever she does and with whomever is done at her pleasure... I hope her man knows how to stay on his toes and CATER to this gal... I know I would learn... only I'm probably uglier than the guy... and broker... bleech.
And she's now someone elses... and since married people stay married by NOT socializing with single people of the opposite sex, I doubt I'll see her much more...
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO BACK OUT OF THE WEDDING AND COME TO RHODE ISLAND, TRISH!!! I'LL SEND YOU MY ADDRESS IF YOU ASK!!! Whoops... that damn ID again... let me just shove that thing back down into the pit of my soul... IT'LL BE A SCARY RISK, BUT TRUE LOVE WILL PREVAIL!!! OOOPH.... get in there, ya' bastard...
Anyway... I don't even want to talk to her that much anymore... not to a MARRIED Trish... no fun there... the whole dynamic will be changed... booooring.
So... after 5 years of fun and games and secrets and hidden messages and even a couple of times she did/said something on Raw just for me... it's over... another chapter in my whacked out Net Career is over... and I'm still bummed about it. But I'll get over it... I think she's bummed about it too.... but she'll get over it as well. After all, it's JUST the Internet. It ain't real.
(whichdoesn'tmeanshewon'tmissmesomuchthatshecan'tstanditandcomecrawlingback)
So, on behalf of Wrestling fans: Thank you for the great wrestling, Trish... you showed, more than ANYONE ELSE, just how hard work and dedication can earn you a killer career and MAJOR success... your career should be the blueprint for ALL WRESTLERS, male and female, to follow.
And, on behalf of Hyatte: Thank you for the great times, Pattycakes... after you retire, stay away from candy. Have FUN, loosen up, but don't go overboard, keep that body. And get divorced fast, I've got 5 and 3/4 inches (rounded up to 6!!!!) that still can be ALL YOURS. And a damn heads up e-mail wouldn't have KILLED you.
And... on behalf of Christopher: Thanks Patricia.
And you're welcome
Anyone know April Hunter's home address?
Next week... I'll be here... doing stuff... no clue what... I'm sure something interesting will present itself between now and then...
Oh... OH WAIT....
THE LAST HIDDEN MESSAGE; SECRET NOTE
Going out to one person, who hopefully read the above and it struck the proper cords...
In case you are wondering why I went this way instead of writing something else... well, remember my list of things I'm really, really good at? One of them... the one you liked the most... still applies. What were you so nervous aboot?
22
This is Christopher